The "it" in question is this, the incredible egg scrambled inside its own shell. Upon first look, various Pinterest users were telling me to simply shake my egg "like crazy" before boiling. And so I did, explaining to Manu in the meantime that what I was doing was "completely normal, honey! Just trying to scramble my egg inside its own shell!"
I tried again the next day, nearly launching my egg against the wall with the fury in which I shook.
The third day, I thought, maybe I'm doing something wrong? A trusty internet search lead me to perhaps the only person who has had success with the project: this guy. He says to garner yourself with a pair of nylons, slide the egg suspended inside a leg, and twist. Then, pulling the ends apart super fast, the egg is whipped in the air in a sort of nylon spin cycle.
Reality bites, dear friends.
The moral of this story is, experiments are fun, even when they don't work. My excitement when peeling all those non-magical eggs was borderline crazy, and the Taurus in me is determined to make this work. I will have a magical egg, so help me God!
P.S. And if you, in the meantime, happen to succeed, show us your egg on the facebook page!